This is why I don't get my math homework done

I think I just found what very well may be one of the best websites of all time.
For the past hour and a half (math homework, what math homework?) I have laughed non stop at the unfortunate events in other people's lives. My eyes are wet with tears. So really if you're having a bad day, think that your life sucks, need to feel good about yourself, or just want to laugh until your sides hurt check out this website.

Here are some real gems from this site. By the way, the site is called, F*** My Life, which explains the "FML" at the end of each sentence.


"Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML"

" Today I drove into my school, literally drove into my school. FML."

"Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said "hey" when he was next to me. He said, "the pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML"

"Today I just got my car fixed from an accident and I drove to a party in a bad thunderstorm. when the power went out everyone decided to watch the Storm from the front windows. Someone mentioned how it would be funny if the tree fell on my car with everyone watching. 20 seconds later it did. FML"

"Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML"

"Today, I went round to my Grandparents to help set up their new Satellite T.V. When I turned it on, it for some reason defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of Porn in my Grandparents living room. FML"

"Today, while on a blind date at Hooters, I ordered my food and the waitress asked me if I was stoned, because she couldn't understand me. I have a speech impediment. FML"

"Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML"

"Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML"

"Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML"

"Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML"